Band Burnout?

[Boy_Narf]

Hello Everyone,

So I posted a while back asking, "when is it time to pack it in"? I was in a band where I was constantly arguing with the BL and things were getting uncomfortable to say the least. So I've moved on to another band and was loving it (at first). They play much larger shows, we already did a live set on our local college radio station, and played a decent sized show in our capital for pride. They seem to have a decent following, as we've only played 1 or 2 shows to an empty bar (pretty much ever other show with my last band). I will say that I had a great time at a house part gig they put together. Almost 100 people there going crazy. It was a blast. Don't think I've ever had so much fun in a band. That being said, those shows are rare in this neck of the woods and it's already getting old. I get along well with two of the members, and do my best to ignore the third guy (serious personality clash right from the get go). IME it's nearly impossible to have a band with 0 drama as I've chalked it up to my own personal issues, and having an extremely short fuse when things don't make sense to me. I'm working on it OKAY? haha. So putting interpersonal drama aside, I'm just not feeling it anymore. I used to get excited for shows, and not mind hauling gear, but lately shows are becoming more and more of a struggle. Perhaps I'm getting jaded, or too practical, but I'm not seeing the point anymore. Packing up my kit weekly and navigating through our "cozy" house would make any patient person lose their !@#$. haha.

Anyhow, how do you folks cope with band burnout? I've taken breaks before, but the feeling seems to come back pretty quick. There is a part of me who would love to give it all up, but I've spent way too much time and money. Being in a band/playing music has become such a part of me, I'm not sure what I would do without it. Perhaps yard work? haha. I've jumped between bands quite a bit in the past few years (at least 5 if I remember correctly). Figured it might be the people, or the music, but I'm just not sure anymore. I've tossed around the idea of a solo project as I have a bunch of material, but the whole singer/songwriter thing is such a cliche in these parts. Go to a show of 5 acts, and you might get one full band. Plus I always feel like something is missing if a band doesn't have bass & drums with it. I've also considered stating up some kind of EDM project. Granted I have no experience with it, but I've always been interested, and could be a nice change to the whole "rock band" thing.

Thanks guys,

[thejay]

Being in a band is like a marriage but with 2-4 high maintaince individuals haha. Everyone wants to be heard, be "artistic", be popular..."make it", etc... Honestly I struggle with it as well as I grow older. Not even scratching the surface of getting gigs, getting paid and actually playing for people. Around here it's all cover bands so it's really hard for an original band to get something rolling. Right now, I am just recording in two separate projects which is actually really cool. Release it and see if it's worth going for I suppose. Each project is one other person and myself and the projects are different enough no one is stepping on the other with writing. I am doing what I love, creating. I love playing shoes but all the BS that goes along with it I don't know it's worth it...,

In the end you have to do what makes you happy and what you want to get out of it, as long as you are honest with the other members you should be fine in that regard. Makes everything easier if everything is on the table.

Not sure if that helps at all...

[Boy_Narf]

haha. I always say bands are more work than relationships, and people always look at me funny. Defiantly true though. Musicians are interesting creatures, that's for sure. Like I said, the drama seems to keep following me around, and I've decided that I bring most of it to the table. My last band was a real eye opener. I'm doing a better job thinking before speaking, or cooling down before replying. It seems to be working out well. I have a solo project that I plan to record once I find some space. Going to record the album and see if there is any interest. Perhaps try out the "internet only" band thing lots of people are doing these days.

I think gigging is quite draining. Hauling gear sucks, but I've played a collapsing house kit enough times to know it's worth the trouble. I've known for a long time there is next to no chance of "making it", and perhaps that's just starting to sink in. A bunch of time investment for nothing in the long run. It's also a bit depressing that I've sold out and joined a pop band haha. Probably doesn't help much.

I don't know, "insert duration" life crisis I guess.

[fiveightandten]

It's not a matter of "making it", as far as i'm concerned. It's a matter of if you're enjoying the act of playing music in a band. It sounds to me like you're just not. There's nothing wrong with that, but It's not fair to yourself or to the other guys in the band if you're not having fun. Based on what you've said, it sounds to me like you need to bow out of it.

FWIW, I don't think the goal for most of us is to "make it". I've been in some situations where I know we had a shot at having something big, and i'll tell you what I learned from it. If you're truly good at playing, there's nothing to hold you back from doing it in a big way other than your desire to do it. Any talented musician can put himself up there to do big things. You just have to want it bad enough. In a band EVERYONE has to want it bad enough. If you're not with a group of guys that want it bad enough, you have to leave and find people who do. It may mean quitting your band, breaking up with your girlfriend, quitting your job, and moving to a place where you don't know anyone. You may not find people there either and have to do it again. These are the things that rock stars sacrifice to make it big. They do whatever it takes.

The rest of us play music because we love doing it. And if that's not the case for you, why try and pretend it is?

-Nick

[Boy_Narf]

Interesting.

So I've bounced around between multiple different bands spanning different genres over the past few years. I've never been in a band that plays the kind of music I like, pretty much because I can never any like minded musicians. There was one band I had a blast in, but the ego's were so big, It didn't last long. It's a tough spot you know? I could spend the rest of my life trying to find a band that plays what I want to play, but so far it's been futile. I have a solo project I've been trying to get of the ground for the past two years, but it's not been going well.

Christ, if I had to enjoy everything I was doing all the time I would never get out of bed haha.

Well I'll call this the beginning of the end. Finish up the shows this summer then shut it down. Can use the extra time to work through books and improve my technique.

Will see how I feel in a couple of years, and take it from there.

[Mystic38]

There is a lot of ache in a solo project.. mebbe try and find someone to co-opt into helping out?.. perhaps a former band member?.. or not.. after all, they dont need to be a great technical musician.. just be able to bounce stuff off, arrangements and so on.. even a good friend that struggles to play an instrument can be the person to break logjams with ideas, press record, and listen to mixes.

If you decide to spend the time on a solo project, you do need to treat it like a job.. just like gigs, you gotta show up and work on it.. so the company may help

[Thinline_slim]

I've always gotten along quite well with the musicians I surrounded myself/mingled with with little drama. The main reason is I typically played with older musicians. Those who are established locally and later in life they've gone through it all and typically the ones who were left standing really wanted to do it for the music. Guys in their 40s-50s even 60s don't have delusions of grandure or are chasing ladies/guys until after the music.

[husker tim]

It's just really difficult to get everything right. My last four bands all had issues. One had the lead singer from hell (I'm sure many of you have met this guy); huge ego and everything had to be his way or he would develop throat issues and cancel gigs. I couldn't handle the guy constantly telling me the "correct" way to play the songs. Then I was in a band where the member just would not practice. However, that didn't stop the leader from booking gigs. I would practically beg the members to practice regularly, but they just wouldn't do it. Finally the drummer and I couldn't take it. Too stressful showing up at gigs not prepared. They were fun people, they just never got their pile of poop together. And then there was the band that could never book a gig because of work schedule issues. Hey, I like playing in bands with people who have jobs...they tend to be a lot more dependable by nature, but I also like to gig...otherwise I don't ever feel motivated to put in the work. And the last band, I played rhythm, and the sulking lead player never seemed to be happy about anything. Because of him I was pushed out to make room for his bestie....only to have that guy quit after one gig (karma).

I have actually been out of a band for almost a year now. I really would like to get back into it; I love playing live, but it's just got to be the right mix otherwise it's just frustrating. Problem is, I don't know if it's entirely possible (unless you're really lucky).

[Boy_Narf]

I hear ya.

It's not so much a solo project as it is a duo. I always get along with the bass players in my band as they seem to be the most chill. The project is acoustic/vox/kick drum, then another fellow on bass/synth. I at least want to record it just so I have something to show for a few years of writing. Will probably send it out to a few places and see if it gets and traction.

I don't seem to play nice with people, or at least that's what my GF always says haha.

I'm into heavier more progressive genres, and everyone I talk to thinks I'm some kind of weirdo. There is apparently an underground death metal scene in the city, but I'm no where near good enough to be part of that. Those guys are amazing! This means I'm always stuck in alt rock bands. I spend so much time learning polyrhytms and odd time only to play 4/4 for the rest of my life. Oh sorry, think we have a 6/8 song in the works. Sweeeeeeet!!!

There is great appeal in quitting the live music thing, but I believe that music should be shared in a live setting. I'm not a fan of the bands who release albums online but never play a show. That does seem to be the new trend though. Programming the drums and recording everything in your bedroom. Heck, I've already done that

[jangle]

I suppose the pat answer is to say when the scale tips to the ‘not fun’ side. All musicians ruefully joke about the hours, the pay (if there is any on offer), and the frankly ridiculous amount of gear that even a basic four-piece must own (or rent), haul and setup only to do it all in reverse a few hours later when they are tired, sweaty and perhaps have consumed some adult beverages. But like any complex undertaking it’s all aimed at the time between the grunt work when the music actually happens. Unfortunately, this isn’t skiing or golf or any other pursuit that requires concentration and produces enjoyment through the application of skill and experience. And then there is the teamwork factor. Nobody can keep up the rah-rah spirit forever and most are content to pull their weight PROVIDED others are doing the same.

Because it’s viewed as playtime (even if it’s a job) and because, as creative types, so many musicians are right-brained the organizational aspects often go undiscussed or underdiscussed. Nobody wants to rock the boat initially, nobody wants to rock the boat when things are going well, and nobody wants to rock the boat when there are obvious problems or tension because they know it will hasten the end of things. I once looked at bands with management – at any level – and regarded the manager as surplus to requirements. Now I see that such a figure is crucial in organizing, being a conduit for communication (even between people who stand shoulder-to-shoulder onstage), being an agony aunt, drill sergeant, accountant, etc. But even successful bands try to do without or share these duties, especially when they don’t want to cut a non-musician in on the action.

Without a manager, we’re back to the setting of expectations and being unafraid to speak up if they aren’t being met. It doesn’t have to be a one-on-many showdown and although intraband cliques aren’t fun to deal with sometimes talking to just one bandmate can take a load off your mind. It’s entirely possible the bandmate might disclose what you’ve told him but hopefully it will be of the ‘we need to up our game’ variety as opposed to ‘guess what that egomaniac said to me!’ Again, many times the problems are obvious to all but nobody wants to spoil the party.

Band meetings without instruments and away from the rehearsal space can also be of benefit. Have a list of topics or none at all but ensure everyone is heard and understands the others without a blamestorm developing. And, frankly, if a bandmate is unwilling to participate in such a meeting that is a huge red flag right there. If duties beyond instrumentation have to be assigned then so be it – as long as it’s equitable.

Other approaches include designating a musical director who is in charge of quality control. He needn’t be a dictator but his decisions, for the most part, are binding.

If you have material as you say but want a full band why not be the name up front with a backing band that you recruit and direct? As above, many musicians are not assertive, organized, confident types and are quite happy to let someone else call the shots as long as they get to crash-bang-wallop-strum. You may find such a setup is the best of both worlds. When people must audition (for you) the old risk-reward scenario kicks in and people tend to value that which they think they’ve earned or won.

But to answer more succinctly, yes band burnout happens and its causes can be musical, nonmusical or both. It takes some courage to assess what’s really going on and what the prospects are, and it takes courage to disappoint people but being a nice guy or even a martyr is simply going to make the nonmusical stuff even more of a burden and will almost certainly spill over into the musical.

[Boy_Narf]

Hey,

We had a booking manager for a few months, but she has since quit to return to full time school. Might be an idea to look for a "general manager" to help us keep track of everything.

The non instrument meeting idea is interesting. Probably why most bands fall apart TBH. They forget to be friends haha.

We have a self appointed BL, who runs each practice like a conductor. "oh you messed that up a bit, lets play it again". "Oh you were a bit off time on your pickup, let's run it once more". Get's a bit annoying TBH, but probably helpful.

I've been looking for a backing band for almost two years now. It doesn't seem to be a thing in these parts unless you are willing to pay them to practice. I am 100% happy, and honestly prefer playing existing material. Not a huge fan of writing anymore. Was hoping there would be some other folks out there who have similar views.

I just keep seeing the cycle repeat itself. Join a band, few months go by, write a bunch of songs, play all the local spots, release an EP, and rinse and repeat. Guess I'm not really sure how to get to the "next level' (whatever that may be). We have 2 shows next week in the province next door, and one show in another city on Friday. We are doing our very best to play out of town, but it's so hard these days. I think we are driving 6 hours for the first show, and they said they have no intention of paying us. We do get a free hotel room though. It's that kind of mind set around these parts. Oh just another band rolling through, no one really cares. The second venue is much better though, hotel, dinner, drinks, and cut of the door. At least we will make some gas money. I think I need to move.

[apocalypsedude]

husker tim and jangle summed it up for me. Too many stars have to align to make a band work. Too many variables and things that you have no control over. It would have to be a pretty special group of people with the right kind of talent to get me to have the desire to do another band. For some reason I just seem to attract the wrong people. Sure there's nothing like the rush of playing in front of people when a band is firing on all cylinders, but for me personally, I just feel like so much more work has to go into what results in such a short amount of time spent on stage. Hours of band rehearsals, renting out a practice space, working on tunes outside of band practice, getting to the gigs, loading your gear in and out, paying for gas and hotels out of pocket, recording, paying for recording, what to do with the recording after its done, promoting shows, selling tickets for your own shows (what a joke) dealing with band member drama, dealing with band member girlfriend/wife drama, dealing with club owner drama, etc etc....all just to play a 30 to 45 minute set on stage opening for someone else if your starting out in an all original band. Sometimes you do all of this to play on stage to an empty house. I've driven eight hours to play to an empty house and with other bands that were complete !@#%$ about the backline. Not to mention all the things that can go wrong during a show, you can do all the prep work in the world and the show still ends up being a trainwreck for some uncontrollable reason.

Yeah, I guess you could say I got burned out from it.

[MikeD]

I've never been in a band that plays the kind of music I like,

Motivational theory 101: If you really, really enjoy what your doing, then even your basic needs can be disregarded to some content, at least for shorter periods of time because you are fullfilling your higher needs... Just ask Maslow.

This is what gets me every time I read a post from you discontenting over band mates, what you're playing, where your playing and so on. Same thing happens to me when I play covers for too long....I get fed up. So then I basically get my own material together, see whos in from them band I'm currently in and then get creative...which usually means going "lean", or in other words the fat gets trimmed, and those that arent happy with the current situation usually just dissolve.

It may sound harsh but honestly this is what happens in the corporate world and since music should be fun....why not spend it with people that make you happy? In the long run it leads to productivity and its like musical Darwinism....the people that enjoy playing a 3-chord mash-up will eventually just end up together

Get a band together, get a manager and then give it time. You dont seem to be up to the managarial aspects so just dont....spend your time being creative rather than the BL and if your ideas are any good just remember that Darwinism works both ways.

[Boy_Narf]

Well we figured we would try our hand at a few shows out of town. So we drove about three hours today and met up with our bl/lead player. He was in a pile of poop mood from the get go. Of course there is no one at the bar watching us (audience of 4), but I thought we were having fun. Well I was Hah. Then two of the guys suggest we skip the second show and just go home. Myself and the rhythm guitar player start raging, and I take off to get some air. I think this band is doomed. It was doomed before I even joined. Will see how tomorrow goes. Everyone is mad at each other, so it will be an interesting six hour drive

Interesting how one bad mood can ruin an entire group.

[Boy_Narf]

So I put in my notice. BL is such a d1ck. I don't even have words. Never met anyone like him in my life. Anyhow, for the first time I don't have another band lined up. Think I'm going to take a break from the human drama for a while. Concentrate on getting some of my solo stuff recorded and go from there.

Feeling pretty good actually.