Joke Thread
Posted: Fri Sep 16, 2011 11:30 pm
Post a good one you've heard recently or an all-time favourite.
ive stopped telling sexist jokes. women just dont understand them.
apologies to the fairer sex (tehe i said sex)
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Re: Joke Thread
Posted: Fri Sep 16, 2011 11:34 pm
Re: Joke Thread
Posted: Sat Sep 17, 2011 12:12 am
Have you heard the one about the guy who missed the joke thread that was on the Forum a few months ago 
?
?Re: Joke Thread
Posted: Sat Sep 17, 2011 12:47 am
I've got one:
Knock knock!
Knock knock!
Re: Joke Thread
Posted: Sat Sep 17, 2011 1:14 am
Uh, who is there?bclaire wrote:I've got one:
Knock knock!
Re: Joke Thread
Posted: Sat Sep 17, 2011 1:26 am
Interrupting cow...
Re: Joke Thread
Posted: Sat Sep 17, 2011 1:27 am
Interrupting MOO! cow who?bclaire wrote:Interrupting cow...
Re: Joke Thread
Posted: Sat Sep 17, 2011 1:28 am
he he he.... (look at your post again- could only do this joke since I'm the moderator....)
off to my gig!
off to my gig!
Re: Joke Thread
Posted: Sat Sep 17, 2011 1:32 am
Nice one!
Re: Joke Thread
Posted: Sat Sep 17, 2011 1:48 am
whats green and has wheels?
grass, i was just kidding about the wheels.
grass, i was just kidding about the wheels.
Re: Joke Thread
Posted: Sat Sep 17, 2011 1:53 am
Y0UNGBL00D wrote:whats green and has wheels?
grass, i was just kidding about the wheels.
That actually has me LMFAO.Re: Joke Thread
Posted: Sat Sep 17, 2011 4:39 am
So a C, an E-flat, and a G walk into a bar. The bartender says, "sorry, but we don't serve minors."
So E-flat leaves, and C and G have an open fifth between them. After a few drinks, the fifth is diminished and G is out flat. F comes in and tries to augment the situation, but is not sharp enough.
Then D comes in and heads for the bathroom saying, "Excuse me. I'll just be a second."
Then A comes in, but the bartender is not convinced that this relative of C is not a minor.
Then the bartender notices B-flat hiding at the end of the bar and says, "Get out! You're the seventh minor I've found in this bar tonight."
E-flat comes back the next night in a three-piece suit with nicely shined shoes. The bartender says, "you're looking sharp tonight. Come on in, this could be a major development." Sure enough, E-flat soon takes off his suit and everything else, and is au natural.
Eventually, C, who had passed out under the bar the night before, begins to sober up and realizes in horror that he's under a rest. So, C goes to trial, is convicted of contributing to the diminution of a minor and sentenced to 10 years of DS without Coda at an up scale correctional facility.
The conviction is overturned on appeal, however, and C is found innocent of any wrongdoing, even accidental, and that all accusations to the contrary are bassless.
The bartender decides, however, that since he's only had tenor so patrons, the soprano out in the bathroom and everything has become alto much treble, he needs a rest and closes the bar.
(Yes I copied and pasted this one, but I like it.)
So E-flat leaves, and C and G have an open fifth between them. After a few drinks, the fifth is diminished and G is out flat. F comes in and tries to augment the situation, but is not sharp enough.
Then D comes in and heads for the bathroom saying, "Excuse me. I'll just be a second."
Then A comes in, but the bartender is not convinced that this relative of C is not a minor.
Then the bartender notices B-flat hiding at the end of the bar and says, "Get out! You're the seventh minor I've found in this bar tonight."
E-flat comes back the next night in a three-piece suit with nicely shined shoes. The bartender says, "you're looking sharp tonight. Come on in, this could be a major development." Sure enough, E-flat soon takes off his suit and everything else, and is au natural.
Eventually, C, who had passed out under the bar the night before, begins to sober up and realizes in horror that he's under a rest. So, C goes to trial, is convicted of contributing to the diminution of a minor and sentenced to 10 years of DS without Coda at an up scale correctional facility.
The conviction is overturned on appeal, however, and C is found innocent of any wrongdoing, even accidental, and that all accusations to the contrary are bassless.
The bartender decides, however, that since he's only had tenor so patrons, the soprano out in the bathroom and everything has become alto much treble, he needs a rest and closes the bar.
(Yes I copied and pasted this one, but I like it.)
Re: Joke Thread
Posted: Sat Sep 17, 2011 8:07 pm
So a seal walks into a bar. Bartender asks "What do you want?"
Seal says "Anything but a Canadian Club on the Rocks!"
Seal says "Anything but a Canadian Club on the Rocks!"
Re: Joke Thread
Posted: Sun Sep 18, 2011 12:01 am
Nork wrote:So a seal walks into a bar. Bartender asks "What do you want?"
Seal says "Anything but a Canadian Club on the Rocks!"
The only thing that could make that one better is to specify a baby seal.
Joke Thread
Posted: Sun Sep 18, 2011 1:45 am
Nork wrote:So a seal walks into a bar. Bartender asks "What do you want?"
Seal says "Anything but a Canadian Club on the Rocks!"
I'm sooo stealing this one!