Joke Thread

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starling1
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Joke Thread

Post by starling1 » Fri Sep 16, 2011 11:30 pm

Post a good one you've heard recently or an all-time favourite.

cica1066
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Re: Joke Thread

Post by cica1066 » Fri Sep 16, 2011 11:34 pm

ive stopped telling sexist jokes. women just dont understand them.

apologies to the fairer sex (tehe i said sex)

Randy Bass
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Re: Joke Thread

Post by Randy Bass » Sat Sep 17, 2011 12:12 am

Have you heard the one about the guy who missed the joke thread that was on the Forum a few months ago :lol: ?
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bclaire
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Re: Joke Thread

Post by bclaire » Sat Sep 17, 2011 12:47 am

I've got one:

Knock knock!

myboss57
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Re: Joke Thread

Post by myboss57 » Sat Sep 17, 2011 1:14 am

bclaire wrote:I've got one:

Knock knock!
Uh, who is there?
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bclaire
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Re: Joke Thread

Post by bclaire » Sat Sep 17, 2011 1:26 am

Interrupting cow...

myboss57
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Re: Joke Thread

Post by myboss57 » Sat Sep 17, 2011 1:27 am

bclaire wrote:Interrupting cow...
Interrupting MOO! cow who? :D
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Gibson SG Standard
http://www.nightmovesmd.bandcamp.com/" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
Sovtek Mig 100h
TC Alter Ego
Mesa Oversized 412
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bclaire
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Re: Joke Thread

Post by bclaire » Sat Sep 17, 2011 1:28 am

he he he.... (look at your post again- could only do this joke since I'm the moderator....) :lol:


off to my gig!

myboss57
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Re: Joke Thread

Post by myboss57 » Sat Sep 17, 2011 1:32 am

Nice one! :lol: :lol: :lol:
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Gibson SG Standard
http://www.nightmovesmd.bandcamp.com/" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
Sovtek Mig 100h
TC Alter Ego
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Prev amps: 90s OD120, Tiny Terror, Rockerverb 100mk1

Y0UNGBL00D
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Re: Joke Thread

Post by Y0UNGBL00D » Sat Sep 17, 2011 1:48 am

whats green and has wheels?








































grass, i was just kidding about the wheels.
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myboss57
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Re: Joke Thread

Post by myboss57 » Sat Sep 17, 2011 1:53 am

Y0UNGBL00D wrote:whats green and has wheels?








































grass, i was just kidding about the wheels.
:lol: :lol: That actually has me LMFAO.
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Gibson SG Standard
http://www.nightmovesmd.bandcamp.com/" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
Sovtek Mig 100h
TC Alter Ego
Mesa Oversized 412
Prev amps: 90s OD120, Tiny Terror, Rockerverb 100mk1

Captain Wedge
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Re: Joke Thread

Post by Captain Wedge » Sat Sep 17, 2011 4:39 am

So a C, an E-flat, and a G walk into a bar. The bartender says, "sorry, but we don't serve minors." 
So E-flat leaves, and C and G have an open fifth between them. After a few drinks, the fifth is diminished and G is out flat. F comes in and tries to augment the situation, but is not sharp enough. 
Then D comes in and heads for the bathroom saying, "Excuse me. I'll just be a second." 
Then A comes in, but the bartender is not convinced that this relative of C is not a minor. 
Then the bartender notices B-flat hiding at the end of the bar and says, "Get out! You're the seventh minor I've found in this bar tonight." 
E-flat comes back the next night in a three-piece suit with nicely shined shoes. The bartender says, "you're looking sharp tonight. Come on in, this could be a major development." Sure enough, E-flat soon takes off his suit and everything else, and is au natural. 
Eventually, C, who had passed out under the bar the night before, begins to sober up and realizes in horror that he's under a rest. So, C goes to trial, is convicted of contributing to the diminution of a minor and sentenced to 10 years of DS without Coda at an up scale correctional facility. 
The conviction is overturned on appeal, however, and C is found innocent of any wrongdoing, even accidental, and that all accusations to the contrary are bassless. 
The bartender decides, however, that since he's only had tenor so patrons, the soprano out in the bathroom and everything has become alto much treble, he needs a rest and closes the bar. 

(Yes I copied and pasted this one, but I like it.)
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Nork
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Re: Joke Thread

Post by Nork » Sat Sep 17, 2011 8:07 pm

So a seal walks into a bar. Bartender asks "What do you want?"
Seal says "Anything but a Canadian Club on the Rocks!"
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Randy Bass
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Re: Joke Thread

Post by Randy Bass » Sun Sep 18, 2011 12:01 am

Nork wrote:So a seal walks into a bar. Bartender asks "What do you want?"
Seal says "Anything but a Canadian Club on the Rocks!"
:lol:

The only thing that could make that one better is to specify a baby seal.
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DiabloS
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Joke Thread

Post by DiabloS » Sun Sep 18, 2011 1:45 am

Nork wrote:So a seal walks into a bar. Bartender asks "What do you want?"
Seal says "Anything but a Canadian Club on the Rocks!"
:lol: I'm sooo stealing this one!
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